weekend was good.. told M i was surprised we didn't have a single argument at all during the weekend =)
fetched him on friday at 9.30, came home at 11 on the dot.
sat - had a goooood sleep, woke up at abt 12? for once i was allowed to sleep late with no one disturbing. Went to JB at 4 with M, thru tuas. Went Perling Giant, then Angsana, then home thru woodlands.
He asked abt A l y. i told the whole story. Thank God he didn't judge. Thank God for this wonderful guy. =)
Sunday - kenduri at Nenek's house. Finally had my roti kirai which I been wanting to eat since sooo lama ago. Missed Nenek so much, its been so long since i went over - so yesterday seeing her was good. and her curry ayam is still the best.
"monyet kau..." hehehe.
Tmrw I get to see Mazreen again, so yeah yeah im happys. If only everyweek is like this, kan best. 24 hrs ago I last saw him. 24 hrs more to see him (insya'Allah) :)
Took halfday for Friday already (and already applied leave for next week) Still dilemmic (such a word?) abt letting mama go on friday.. been thinking and thinking and thinking and now am still thinking how to discourage her from going to tekong. I feel bad though, coz M got the extra tix already, and Mama really wants to go, but how i do get rid of this bad feeling? Unexplainable really, but i know what im feeling.
shall think some more.
Farah if u reading this, one year ago we met yr bf. *mad laughs* If things had turned out differently today would have been your one year anniversary ;)
Who would have thought eh? hehe. i had so much fun then, i can't wait for the next one.
fetched him on friday at 9.30, came home at 11 on the dot.
sat - had a goooood sleep, woke up at abt 12? for once i was allowed to sleep late with no one disturbing. Went to JB at 4 with M, thru tuas. Went Perling Giant, then Angsana, then home thru woodlands.
He asked abt A l y. i told the whole story. Thank God he didn't judge. Thank God for this wonderful guy. =)
Sunday - kenduri at Nenek's house. Finally had my roti kirai which I been wanting to eat since sooo lama ago. Missed Nenek so much, its been so long since i went over - so yesterday seeing her was good. and her curry ayam is still the best.
"monyet kau..." hehehe.
Tmrw I get to see Mazreen again, so yeah yeah im happys. If only everyweek is like this, kan best. 24 hrs ago I last saw him. 24 hrs more to see him (insya'Allah) :)
Took halfday for Friday already (and already applied leave for next week) Still dilemmic (such a word?) abt letting mama go on friday.. been thinking and thinking and thinking and now am still thinking how to discourage her from going to tekong. I feel bad though, coz M got the extra tix already, and Mama really wants to go, but how i do get rid of this bad feeling? Unexplainable really, but i know what im feeling.
shall think some more.
Farah if u reading this, one year ago we met yr bf. *mad laughs* If things had turned out differently today would have been your one year anniversary ;)
Who would have thought eh? hehe. i had so much fun then, i can't wait for the next one.
5/31/2004 07:02:00 pm | Permalink |
Friday, May 28, 2004
am so friggin hungry but got no appetite to eat. arguments leave a bad taste in the mouth.
5/28/2004 12:37:00 pm | Permalink |
life's irony is that only the ones who love you and the ones you love are capable of making you feel down in the dumps, downright miserable.
(can't remember where i got above quote from)
for some laughs, watch this ad.
can't wait to see him tonight. missing people does things to your brain, i think. haha.
due to boredom, more quizzes and my answers below. got them from friday5 site.
Have you ever been mugged?
at paya lebar. some woman leaned across the table and said she wanted my Today newspaper, and then she took my hp.
Have you ever been chased by a mad man before?
yes. Nani somehow managed to irritate this mad guy at tamp interchange during tk days, and i was with nani that time. sekali the guy entah kenapa chased us, and we boarded a bus that was taking up passengers and dropped off at the next stop.
Have you ever been beaten up?
no. there was that tk sec girl though, who thought i was after her bf when i was in sec 2 and then wanted a fight. aper sajer la. in the first place the bf fugly, i also tak minat, and 2nd, what good would that fight do? still remember falee trying to intervene though.. and then the bf asking her to apologise to me. haha.
Have you ever beaten someone up?
no.
Have you ever won a lucky draw?
also no. at least none that i remember.
Have you ever appeared on TV?
dont think so.
(can't remember where i got above quote from)
for some laughs, watch this ad.
can't wait to see him tonight. missing people does things to your brain, i think. haha.
due to boredom, more quizzes and my answers below. got them from friday5 site.
Have you ever been mugged?
at paya lebar. some woman leaned across the table and said she wanted my Today newspaper, and then she took my hp.
Have you ever been chased by a mad man before?
yes. Nani somehow managed to irritate this mad guy at tamp interchange during tk days, and i was with nani that time. sekali the guy entah kenapa chased us, and we boarded a bus that was taking up passengers and dropped off at the next stop.
Have you ever been beaten up?
no. there was that tk sec girl though, who thought i was after her bf when i was in sec 2 and then wanted a fight. aper sajer la. in the first place the bf fugly, i also tak minat, and 2nd, what good would that fight do? still remember falee trying to intervene though.. and then the bf asking her to apologise to me. haha.
Have you ever beaten someone up?
no.
Have you ever won a lucky draw?
also no. at least none that i remember.
Have you ever appeared on TV?
dont think so.
5/28/2004 10:09:00 am | Permalink |
Thursday, May 27, 2004
lately i havent been feeling that good. physically my shoulders are aching and i've got backache too, the kind that comes when the time of the month is here. mentally, i'm just exhausted. i feel that i am standing outside my body and watching the ongoing happenings with dread. i feel like i haven't been a good daughter, a good Muslim, a good sister, a good gf, a good driver even.
i woke up this morning, saw liza still sleeping and i thought, i haven't told her i loved her for so long. before i slept last night, i was thinking i haven't chatted with aisyah for so long. i dunno what's up in her life, who is her best friend now, what's happening to that guy, is she still thinking of the first M.PM.. etc. my mom told me that liza has been selected to do that school march from the old school to the new one, and she's real happy abt it, esp coz even Nenek wants to go see her march. I so wish I can go too, she'll be so cute, but there's work..
being a good muslim has always been hard.. lately i'm having trouble motivating myself to get my ass off whatever im sitting on and go pray. it's been so long since i followed parents go masjids, and its been so long since i last saw the kakak2s at the tg pagar one. and when i do pray it gets kind of hard to khusyuk (sp?) coz sometimes there's so many things overcrowding my brain.
.. and lately when i drive, people are always holding on to that handle thing on top. i find it funny sometimes. i find it very bad sometimes. i should drive slower and more carefully. i shd stop thinking other cars are really slow and try to aksyen overtake. the other night at bedok i tried to park the car at this side lot, and got this taxi beside me, and each time i reversed the taxi-driver would horn. yes i admit i was quite near his cab, but i know what i was doing. why would i voluntarily ram my car into his cab?? i felt like shouting at him to just go eat his steering wheel.
i still feel bad abt sunday's fight with my mom altho all is ok now. i dont help around much in the house other than doing things that gives me personal satisfaction. sometimes i forget to ask my mom how her day was. sometimes i dont even get to see my dad coz by the time im home, he's asleep. i remember my dad missing me when i was at kl for a week with farahmaria and how he sounded when i talked to him on the phone.
and i know i haven't been, or im not, a good gf to the sweetest, bestest guy on earth. i forget that he does so much to make me happy even when i know he's tired and sometimes i feel like i dont do enough to return that. i dunno where he gets the energy to be so nice to me when he's tired. when I'm tired, all i know is to snap at people. sigh. sometimes i cant stop myself from saying the wrong things to him and sometimes im just being selfish and not being understanding. sometimes i demand too much of his time. sometimes i forget that he's tired. And I shd stop losing my patience so easily with the person i love muches.
so yeah. for all the things above, im sorry.
i woke up this morning, saw liza still sleeping and i thought, i haven't told her i loved her for so long. before i slept last night, i was thinking i haven't chatted with aisyah for so long. i dunno what's up in her life, who is her best friend now, what's happening to that guy, is she still thinking of the first M.PM.. etc. my mom told me that liza has been selected to do that school march from the old school to the new one, and she's real happy abt it, esp coz even Nenek wants to go see her march. I so wish I can go too, she'll be so cute, but there's work..
being a good muslim has always been hard.. lately i'm having trouble motivating myself to get my ass off whatever im sitting on and go pray. it's been so long since i followed parents go masjids, and its been so long since i last saw the kakak2s at the tg pagar one. and when i do pray it gets kind of hard to khusyuk (sp?) coz sometimes there's so many things overcrowding my brain.
.. and lately when i drive, people are always holding on to that handle thing on top. i find it funny sometimes. i find it very bad sometimes. i should drive slower and more carefully. i shd stop thinking other cars are really slow and try to aksyen overtake. the other night at bedok i tried to park the car at this side lot, and got this taxi beside me, and each time i reversed the taxi-driver would horn. yes i admit i was quite near his cab, but i know what i was doing. why would i voluntarily ram my car into his cab?? i felt like shouting at him to just go eat his steering wheel.
i still feel bad abt sunday's fight with my mom altho all is ok now. i dont help around much in the house other than doing things that gives me personal satisfaction. sometimes i forget to ask my mom how her day was. sometimes i dont even get to see my dad coz by the time im home, he's asleep. i remember my dad missing me when i was at kl for a week with farahmaria and how he sounded when i talked to him on the phone.
and i know i haven't been, or im not, a good gf to the sweetest, bestest guy on earth. i forget that he does so much to make me happy even when i know he's tired and sometimes i feel like i dont do enough to return that. i dunno where he gets the energy to be so nice to me when he's tired. when I'm tired, all i know is to snap at people. sigh. sometimes i cant stop myself from saying the wrong things to him and sometimes im just being selfish and not being understanding. sometimes i demand too much of his time. sometimes i forget that he's tired. And I shd stop losing my patience so easily with the person i love muches.
so yeah. for all the things above, im sorry.
5/27/2004 01:30:00 pm | Permalink |
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
When was the last time you...
...went to the doctor?
2 weeks ago.
...went to the dentist?
in sec sch. hahah
...filled your gas tank?
abt 3 weeks ago i think
...got enough sleep?
can't remember.
...backed up your computer?
tak pernah.
You have just won one million dollars:
Who do you call first?
my parents
What is the first thing you would buy for yourself?
an air ticket to some relaxing place
What is the first thing you buy for someone else?
pay off all my close one's bills
Do you give any away? If yes, to whom?
to parents and sisters to spend, i guess. share the rest with M.
Do you invest any? If so, how?
dont think will invest..
What are the first things that you do in the morning to start your day?
stretch and then bathe.
What are the last things that you do at night before going to bed?
pray isya' and then sms M.
What's the one thing that makes you feel like something is missing if you don't do it some point within your day?
sms-ing M
What are your favorite ways to relax and unwind?
washing the toilet.. haha.
What do you do the moment you get home from work/school/errands?
take off tudung and watch and just zonk out on the sofa.
Do you feel more relaxed with a group of friends or hanging out by yourself?
by myself.. :)
What is something that you feel is relaxing but most people don't?
erm.. washing toilets? or washing dishes. the nice clean smell just makes me feel so happy.. hahaa.
Do you have a car?
a waja.
Do you drive very often?
not really..
What's your dream car?
a champagne-coloured Jaguar
Have you ever received a ticket?
so far, no.
What size shoe do you wear?
7
How many pairs of shoes do you own?
entah. not as many as Imelda Marcos though. shoe rack got 8 pairs. inside aisyah and my room, belum kira.
What type of shoe do you prefer (boots, sneakers, pumps, etc.)?
i prefer sandals but somehow i always buy shoes or heels.
Describe your favorite pair of shoes.
flats with rounded fronts
What shampoo do you use?
Pantene & Rejoice
Do you use conditioner? What kind?
no actually.
When was the last time you got your hair cut?
Yesterday.
What's your worst hair-related experience?
hahahaa. poodle comes to mind.
How many houses/apartments have you lived in throughout your life?
6 houses so far. lorong melayu, serangoon gardens, hougang, tampines, pasir ris, and now simei.
Which was your favorite and why?
each house got their best points.. so far, simei is fun :)
Do you find moving house more exciting or stressful? Why?
stressful. i hate the packing and unpacking.
What's more important, location or price?
location. but then it isn't me paying so of course i would say location kan.. haha.
What features does your dream house have (pool, spa bath, big yard, etc.)?
erm. haven't thought abt it. i want loads of woody stuff though and white walls, very balinese style like that. pool be good too, so i can swim again.
...went to the doctor?
2 weeks ago.
...went to the dentist?
in sec sch. hahah
...filled your gas tank?
abt 3 weeks ago i think
...got enough sleep?
can't remember.
...backed up your computer?
tak pernah.
You have just won one million dollars:
Who do you call first?
my parents
What is the first thing you would buy for yourself?
an air ticket to some relaxing place
What is the first thing you buy for someone else?
pay off all my close one's bills
Do you give any away? If yes, to whom?
to parents and sisters to spend, i guess. share the rest with M.
Do you invest any? If so, how?
dont think will invest..
What are the first things that you do in the morning to start your day?
stretch and then bathe.
What are the last things that you do at night before going to bed?
pray isya' and then sms M.
What's the one thing that makes you feel like something is missing if you don't do it some point within your day?
sms-ing M
What are your favorite ways to relax and unwind?
washing the toilet.. haha.
What do you do the moment you get home from work/school/errands?
take off tudung and watch and just zonk out on the sofa.
Do you feel more relaxed with a group of friends or hanging out by yourself?
by myself.. :)
What is something that you feel is relaxing but most people don't?
erm.. washing toilets? or washing dishes. the nice clean smell just makes me feel so happy.. hahaa.
Do you have a car?
a waja.
Do you drive very often?
not really..
What's your dream car?
a champagne-coloured Jaguar
Have you ever received a ticket?
so far, no.
What size shoe do you wear?
7
How many pairs of shoes do you own?
entah. not as many as Imelda Marcos though. shoe rack got 8 pairs. inside aisyah and my room, belum kira.
What type of shoe do you prefer (boots, sneakers, pumps, etc.)?
i prefer sandals but somehow i always buy shoes or heels.
Describe your favorite pair of shoes.
flats with rounded fronts
What shampoo do you use?
Pantene & Rejoice
Do you use conditioner? What kind?
no actually.
When was the last time you got your hair cut?
Yesterday.
What's your worst hair-related experience?
hahahaa. poodle comes to mind.
How many houses/apartments have you lived in throughout your life?
6 houses so far. lorong melayu, serangoon gardens, hougang, tampines, pasir ris, and now simei.
Which was your favorite and why?
each house got their best points.. so far, simei is fun :)
Do you find moving house more exciting or stressful? Why?
stressful. i hate the packing and unpacking.
What's more important, location or price?
location. but then it isn't me paying so of course i would say location kan.. haha.
What features does your dream house have (pool, spa bath, big yard, etc.)?
erm. haven't thought abt it. i want loads of woody stuff though and white walls, very balinese style like that. pool be good too, so i can swim again.
5/26/2004 02:39:00 pm | Permalink |
Shida says:
kita hire sab for the night ah. just for maria.
beautifully intricate. says:
hahaha.. ok ah.
beautifully intricate. says:
i tink they'll have a lot to talk abt.. and pls, NO KL JAI to cum along
Shida says:
red light districts and all...
beautifully intricate. says:
oh yah man.. haha
Shida says:
duh. nanti too many Jais around...
beautifully intricate. says:
oh shut up.
beautifully intricate. says:
aku thinkin of u nanti..
Shida says:
nanti kau confused which Jai is yours
Shida says:
why me?
beautifully intricate. says:
torn btw bidot and jai
Shida says:
no. aku conferm nak bidot... then nanti Jai feeling... dah jadi bollywood.. hahaha.
beautifully intricate. says:
oh.. kau dramatic
beautifully intricate. says:
skali jai kidnap kau bawak gi sunway.. ahahahaaa.
Shida says:
eh. then Bidot shall come save me, while Jai (the other one) shall help... while kau shall try to wake maria up.
beautifully intricate. says:
ahahhahaa
bits of my msn chat with farah tadi. we were at first reminiscing abt last yr's KL trip and then talking abt upcoming KL trip (kalau jadi) and then imagining if our bfs came along (macam boleh eh..)
... I really need to get away from here. I can't wait for 6th June. Nothing bad is happening now or anything, but I just feel like there's so many things piling up on top of me (but unknown what things they are) that i need a breather away from here. It gets to a point where I feel suffocated and I just dont want to get up coz i dont know what is going to happen on that day. No this is not depression ke aper... jsut feeling a bit under the weather. I'm getting a bit tired of doing things wrong, pleasing people, thinking what to wear, budgeting, hoping for things, thinking if im saying the right things, etc. The more I try to make things be right, they somehow always find a way to go wrong. I'm sick of that.
One more week before Abg Aim goes umrah. how im so wishing its me.
kita hire sab for the night ah. just for maria.
beautifully intricate. says:
hahaha.. ok ah.
beautifully intricate. says:
i tink they'll have a lot to talk abt.. and pls, NO KL JAI to cum along
Shida says:
red light districts and all...
beautifully intricate. says:
oh yah man.. haha
Shida says:
duh. nanti too many Jais around...
beautifully intricate. says:
oh shut up.
beautifully intricate. says:
aku thinkin of u nanti..
Shida says:
nanti kau confused which Jai is yours
Shida says:
why me?
beautifully intricate. says:
torn btw bidot and jai
Shida says:
no. aku conferm nak bidot... then nanti Jai feeling... dah jadi bollywood.. hahaha.
beautifully intricate. says:
oh.. kau dramatic
beautifully intricate. says:
skali jai kidnap kau bawak gi sunway.. ahahahaaa.
Shida says:
eh. then Bidot shall come save me, while Jai (the other one) shall help... while kau shall try to wake maria up.
beautifully intricate. says:
ahahhahaa
bits of my msn chat with farah tadi. we were at first reminiscing abt last yr's KL trip and then talking abt upcoming KL trip (kalau jadi) and then imagining if our bfs came along (macam boleh eh..)
... I really need to get away from here. I can't wait for 6th June. Nothing bad is happening now or anything, but I just feel like there's so many things piling up on top of me (but unknown what things they are) that i need a breather away from here. It gets to a point where I feel suffocated and I just dont want to get up coz i dont know what is going to happen on that day. No this is not depression ke aper... jsut feeling a bit under the weather. I'm getting a bit tired of doing things wrong, pleasing people, thinking what to wear, budgeting, hoping for things, thinking if im saying the right things, etc. The more I try to make things be right, they somehow always find a way to go wrong. I'm sick of that.
One more week before Abg Aim goes umrah. how im so wishing its me.
5/26/2004 02:39:00 pm | Permalink |
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
worst weekend of this year so far. dont feel like blogging abt it now.
at this moment, listening to "immortal" can make me cry. and friggin hell its on radio now.
i cant wait to go KL. seriously meriously. tak kisah la dgn siapa2. im not sure anymore who's going on the 8th... or if we going again on the 18th with abg aim. maria ajak go either in june or july.. was discussing the idea on friday. was thinking june is out pasal farah got no money by then, and as mazreen said the other day, how many times i want to go kl in one month? haha.
... so perhaps july? not sure though if my dad will let us drive all the way up. maria offered to drive on kl roads. i can do the expressways. money issue is still a prob though, therefore trip is tentative only. loving the idea but then practicalities always spoils everything.
sometimes i just want to get away from everything.
when the road gets dark..
and you can no longer see..
let my love throw a spark..
have a little faith in me...
at this moment, listening to "immortal" can make me cry. and friggin hell its on radio now.
i cant wait to go KL. seriously meriously. tak kisah la dgn siapa2. im not sure anymore who's going on the 8th... or if we going again on the 18th with abg aim. maria ajak go either in june or july.. was discussing the idea on friday. was thinking june is out pasal farah got no money by then, and as mazreen said the other day, how many times i want to go kl in one month? haha.
... so perhaps july? not sure though if my dad will let us drive all the way up. maria offered to drive on kl roads. i can do the expressways. money issue is still a prob though, therefore trip is tentative only. loving the idea but then practicalities always spoils everything.
sometimes i just want to get away from everything.
when the road gets dark..
and you can no longer see..
let my love throw a spark..
have a little faith in me...
5/25/2004 12:01:00 pm | Permalink |
Thursday, May 20, 2004
because i've got nothing update, i decided to post up bits of my msn chat with farah (beautifully intricate) for future remembrance, hehe.
beautifully intricate. says:
tmrw kita go anywhere
beautifully intricate. says:
where u want?
Shida says:
mana kau nak pergi?
Shida says:
tekong?
beautifully intricate. says:
no.
beautifully intricate. says:
pa?
Shida says:
erm farah.
Shida says:
no PA.
Shida says:
MA boleh.
Shida says:
haaha
beautifully intricate. says:
ma?
Shida says:
i htink my joke funny
Shida says:
aku pon tak tahu apa MA.
Shida says:
maybe MAzreen's hse?
Shida says:
hahhaaha
beautifully intricate. says:
....
beautifully intricate. says:
apa kata we go sumwhere neutral
Shida says:
like where?
Shida says:
the expressway btwn tamp & simei?
Shida says:
hehee
Shida says:
im so witty.
beautifully intricate. says:
...
beautifully intricate. says:
u praise urself way too much.
beautifully intricate. says:
meet at 7 ish at tamp
beautifully intricate. says:
we juz go starbucks and sit and pple watch
beautifully intricate. says:
i need to go on a diet
Shida says:
diet abis gi starbucks eh..
dieting is a female's full-time occupation tau. regardless of whether you're fat or thin or normal or whatever body shape you have. guys should realise that one of the best compliments they can ever give to a girl is "i think you lost weight already eh?" hehe.
beautifully intricate. says:
tmrw kita go anywhere
beautifully intricate. says:
where u want?
Shida says:
mana kau nak pergi?
Shida says:
tekong?
beautifully intricate. says:
no.
beautifully intricate. says:
pa?
Shida says:
erm farah.
Shida says:
no PA.
Shida says:
MA boleh.
Shida says:
haaha
beautifully intricate. says:
ma?
Shida says:
i htink my joke funny
Shida says:
aku pon tak tahu apa MA.
Shida says:
maybe MAzreen's hse?
Shida says:
hahhaaha
beautifully intricate. says:
....
beautifully intricate. says:
apa kata we go sumwhere neutral
Shida says:
like where?
Shida says:
the expressway btwn tamp & simei?
Shida says:
hehee
Shida says:
im so witty.
beautifully intricate. says:
...
beautifully intricate. says:
u praise urself way too much.
beautifully intricate. says:
meet at 7 ish at tamp
beautifully intricate. says:
we juz go starbucks and sit and pple watch
beautifully intricate. says:
i need to go on a diet
Shida says:
diet abis gi starbucks eh..
dieting is a female's full-time occupation tau. regardless of whether you're fat or thin or normal or whatever body shape you have. guys should realise that one of the best compliments they can ever give to a girl is "i think you lost weight already eh?" hehe.
5/20/2004 02:12:00 pm | Permalink |
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
last night went city plaza to eat with parents and sisters. asked my dad what does he think so far of Mazreen. and my dad, being my dad, hehe, actually said some stuff abt Mazreen which i think is quite true. ran it off M semalam and he agreed. heh. funkiness :)
i keep thinking today's thursday.
M found some time to sms me this morning and he even called, so yeah that made my day. exchanged abt 5 sms before he stopped replying.
i miss him :)
farah called yest to arrange to meet up with maria either today or friday. i would rather today, coz what if M balik on friday, then i want to go fetch. told farah i'll get back to her after asking Mazreen. then he told me that even if he comes back on friday, i dont have to fetch.. let him go home straight and rest. i didn't know how to take that exactly, i never thought that me fetching him was tiring for him.
.. which made me think then, what if he actually dont like me fetching him on those fridays? i mean, i see it as.. i want to see him the earliest time i can - so even if i have to rush home from work and take the car at home and rush out again, i dont mind coz i'll get to see the person i've been missing for the past 5 days, u know? it seriously never occured to me that he would be more tired because i went to fetch him. *puzzled*
anyhoo. shall ask him abt this whenever i see him (i had something else i wanted to type here but i forgot what it is - so annoying) so i sms farah told her that friday's fine. probably doing starbucks manhattan, haha.
had a weird dream last night.
"kecantikan bukan utama , keperawanan bukan utama, kalau kita cinta janganlah mencintai tubuh atau keindahan , yang diutamakan kecantikan dari dalam bukan dari luar...kecantikan luar bisa habis karena waktu bisa tua...tapi hati akan selalu dicintai terus sampai mati." - got this from my sub agent while msn-ing him ;)
Talking to farah yesterday was ultras good - she said some stuff abt me and M that was sooo sweet and i dont want to post it up here, i would rather put in my book journal, hehe. Seriously sweet. i didnt know that on sunday me and Mazreen came off that way to people, even those we dont know, so yeah. im funkified and happy we did :)
i loves u shrek. heh.
i keep thinking today's thursday.
M found some time to sms me this morning and he even called, so yeah that made my day. exchanged abt 5 sms before he stopped replying.
i miss him :)
farah called yest to arrange to meet up with maria either today or friday. i would rather today, coz what if M balik on friday, then i want to go fetch. told farah i'll get back to her after asking Mazreen. then he told me that even if he comes back on friday, i dont have to fetch.. let him go home straight and rest. i didn't know how to take that exactly, i never thought that me fetching him was tiring for him.
.. which made me think then, what if he actually dont like me fetching him on those fridays? i mean, i see it as.. i want to see him the earliest time i can - so even if i have to rush home from work and take the car at home and rush out again, i dont mind coz i'll get to see the person i've been missing for the past 5 days, u know? it seriously never occured to me that he would be more tired because i went to fetch him. *puzzled*
anyhoo. shall ask him abt this whenever i see him (i had something else i wanted to type here but i forgot what it is - so annoying) so i sms farah told her that friday's fine. probably doing starbucks manhattan, haha.
had a weird dream last night.
"kecantikan bukan utama , keperawanan bukan utama, kalau kita cinta janganlah mencintai tubuh atau keindahan , yang diutamakan kecantikan dari dalam bukan dari luar...kecantikan luar bisa habis karena waktu bisa tua...tapi hati akan selalu dicintai terus sampai mati." - got this from my sub agent while msn-ing him ;)
Talking to farah yesterday was ultras good - she said some stuff abt me and M that was sooo sweet and i dont want to post it up here, i would rather put in my book journal, hehe. Seriously sweet. i didnt know that on sunday me and Mazreen came off that way to people, even those we dont know, so yeah. im funkified and happy we did :)
i loves u shrek. heh.
5/19/2004 04:03:00 pm | Permalink |
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
my mom went to Nenek's house yesterday - she's not feeling well and so mama and didi and wak went over. then Nenek started talking abt her grandchildren getting married, esp falee. coz she said falee's going to be 24 this year and the gf is already so much older and she's worried for him, and she wants to see him married soon.
.. and then she started on me pulak. told mama to tell me to consider that 29 yr old mak ita's colleague who asked again apparently. Then mama told Nenek that i already am with someone now, so tak payah lah gini2 semua. so Nenek ask mama if she and my father got meet this guy before. so mama said yes, quite a few times already and then Nenek asked how is he like. and my mother said this guy very senonoh, very baik and all. so Nenek said good, she can't stand those guys who pierce and tattoos. Then mama told her that most prob (Insya'Allah) he's following us to KL, so nenek said good, kat sana boleh jumpa. funkifying sungguh. she then asked what he's doing now. Mama said NS. then nenek and mama (and the aunts) said many other things which I think I want to tell M first before i put it here.
overall, i was funkified big time by the whole convo when mama told me last night. There was so many things they talked abt, I feel like there's so many things that I am unable to fulfill at this moment. I dunno how come for the past 2 days I've been talking so much to my mom, and yesterday even my dad joined in.
It left me unable to sleep last night.
I can't wait for sat to see M. Times like this, i would feel much better knowing he's around.. as in, here with me rather than over the phone. And at this moment, I really need assurance or something of that sort. People close to me knows how I can get very paranoid, and last night made me think a lot of paranoid thoughts.. so yeah, having M around right now would really help a lot, i think.
What's the diff between planning your future with someone and sharing your views about the future? Me and Mazreen admittedly have talked abt some things abt our future together.. but I feel that its more of a sharing of views (and im glad we have some that are the same) rather than planning. But then again, if people can't plan at all out of pantangs (spelling?) then how? Dont tell me that all these people my age aren't thinking what I'm thinking? I can't be the only kan?
that ocbc thing. A lot of people, inc Nenek and farah, keep saying that its not good to involve money in a relationship before marriage- as in, have savings together. My opinion on that (which i think is the same as Mazreen) is that its better to know early on how the other person handles money. I think in the beginning, that money was for our mthly expenses, then we somehow decided to just continue saving ajer without spending it. my mom asked me last night, if anything happens (God forbid), then what will happen to the money? I said split it la. Then she said, if me and Mazreen dah agree on that, then nothing wrong with saving together.. but just simpan for the sake of saving, not for the purpose of marriage or honeymoon. we shall keep that in mind k.
but im still kind of worried - are we supposed to follow these pantang larangs? kalau kena, then Mazreen pon dah bilang me that he dont mind stopping. (as in, he would like to continue, but he dont mind stopping) Kalau tak kena ikut these pantang larangs, nanti mcm not good or whatever like that right? and afterall old people have more experience in these kind of stuff, so these pantang larangs exist for a reason kan? but then also, if we follow pantang larangs, aren't we like, believing in them rather than God's wills?
I'm getting confused by my thoughts tau. This was what happened last night - i kept replaying the whole thing in my head over and over again til I dunno what i was thinking about and then I felt like crying.
You know how everyone's scared of losing all those special people in their lives? Mazreen has become one of those people in mine.. and its scary to me coz I know I have no permanent link to him other than promises to each other. (very aptly, now stacie orrico's I Promise on radio now, hehe) and altho i know promises do carry some weight, at least on my part and i trust on his part also, but i know also that the future might make us break those promises to each other (again, God forbid)... and therefore it gets scarier coz then he has the ability to hurt me if he wants to.
i hate it when my thoughts veer off to some place I dont want them to go. trying hard to remember and heed wak's advice.
shall end this entry now. continue later.
i just wish sat is here now.
.. and then she started on me pulak. told mama to tell me to consider that 29 yr old mak ita's colleague who asked again apparently. Then mama told Nenek that i already am with someone now, so tak payah lah gini2 semua. so Nenek ask mama if she and my father got meet this guy before. so mama said yes, quite a few times already and then Nenek asked how is he like. and my mother said this guy very senonoh, very baik and all. so Nenek said good, she can't stand those guys who pierce and tattoos. Then mama told her that most prob (Insya'Allah) he's following us to KL, so nenek said good, kat sana boleh jumpa. funkifying sungguh. she then asked what he's doing now. Mama said NS. then nenek and mama (and the aunts) said many other things which I think I want to tell M first before i put it here.
overall, i was funkified big time by the whole convo when mama told me last night. There was so many things they talked abt, I feel like there's so many things that I am unable to fulfill at this moment. I dunno how come for the past 2 days I've been talking so much to my mom, and yesterday even my dad joined in.
It left me unable to sleep last night.
I can't wait for sat to see M. Times like this, i would feel much better knowing he's around.. as in, here with me rather than over the phone. And at this moment, I really need assurance or something of that sort. People close to me knows how I can get very paranoid, and last night made me think a lot of paranoid thoughts.. so yeah, having M around right now would really help a lot, i think.
What's the diff between planning your future with someone and sharing your views about the future? Me and Mazreen admittedly have talked abt some things abt our future together.. but I feel that its more of a sharing of views (and im glad we have some that are the same) rather than planning. But then again, if people can't plan at all out of pantangs (spelling?) then how? Dont tell me that all these people my age aren't thinking what I'm thinking? I can't be the only kan?
that ocbc thing. A lot of people, inc Nenek and farah, keep saying that its not good to involve money in a relationship before marriage- as in, have savings together. My opinion on that (which i think is the same as Mazreen) is that its better to know early on how the other person handles money. I think in the beginning, that money was for our mthly expenses, then we somehow decided to just continue saving ajer without spending it. my mom asked me last night, if anything happens (God forbid), then what will happen to the money? I said split it la. Then she said, if me and Mazreen dah agree on that, then nothing wrong with saving together.. but just simpan for the sake of saving, not for the purpose of marriage or honeymoon. we shall keep that in mind k.
but im still kind of worried - are we supposed to follow these pantang larangs? kalau kena, then Mazreen pon dah bilang me that he dont mind stopping. (as in, he would like to continue, but he dont mind stopping) Kalau tak kena ikut these pantang larangs, nanti mcm not good or whatever like that right? and afterall old people have more experience in these kind of stuff, so these pantang larangs exist for a reason kan? but then also, if we follow pantang larangs, aren't we like, believing in them rather than God's wills?
I'm getting confused by my thoughts tau. This was what happened last night - i kept replaying the whole thing in my head over and over again til I dunno what i was thinking about and then I felt like crying.
You know how everyone's scared of losing all those special people in their lives? Mazreen has become one of those people in mine.. and its scary to me coz I know I have no permanent link to him other than promises to each other. (very aptly, now stacie orrico's I Promise on radio now, hehe) and altho i know promises do carry some weight, at least on my part and i trust on his part also, but i know also that the future might make us break those promises to each other (again, God forbid)... and therefore it gets scarier coz then he has the ability to hurt me if he wants to.
i hate it when my thoughts veer off to some place I dont want them to go. trying hard to remember and heed wak's advice.
shall end this entry now. continue later.
i just wish sat is here now.
5/18/2004 11:06:00 am | Permalink |
Monday, May 17, 2004
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AISYAH!!
***
wkend was quite good. went on a shopping spree of some sort at TM on sat alone after work - spent $230 total. i was broke before i went shopping, now im even more broke - but who cares la, pasal giving presents to these people makes me happy, hehe. bought the swatch watch for aisya, braun buffel car key pouch for my dad and renoma key/coin pouch for my mom, scrabble junior for liza, and hugo boss in motion for mazreen. didn't get anything for myself altho i was sungguh tempted to buy sandals or that urs bag. dah lama never go shopping alone so it was quite fun not needing to get people's opinions before i buy something.
anyhoo. finished shopping at TM at abt 4.30, met M under his block, took cab home. met parents under block to go JB. ate at Holiday Inn - buffet spread was gd. mcm teringat-ingat the cream puff and prawns sekarang.. haha. halfway thru, me and M went off to the supermarket kat sebelah tu but they got no more supermarket now seh. just shows dah so long tak go there already. bought cleo. took the presents from the car and passed it to them then. M got red, blushing2 opening his present.. so cute, haha. slept on the way home.
"then kak shida and mazreen gave me my be-early birthday present..a swatch watch..will not wear it to skul coz it's nice and i dun want to dirty it..haha!!thanks kak shida and mazreen!!then kak shida and mazreen and me and liza gave parents a gift each...key pouch and key holder..i still haven't pay sis yet but wait yea??now no money..heheh..then liza got junior scrabble from mazreen and kak shida..then mazreen got hugo boss perfume from kak shida..his face was red when he opened it!! ahahah!!then kak shida...never get anything...muahahah!!
above paragraph is from aisyah's blog. i thought it was cute and i just wanted to post it up here, hehe.
smlm went to Yani's wedding with Mazreen. Yani is Farah's cousin from KC.. we weren't really close but we used to go TM together after school dulu. and she was the one who intro me to sheddy dulu, so the basis for our frenship was that i guess. haha. so anyways smlm she was so pretty like that.
... and while makan-ing, farah sempat gossip... abt Nad, very poor thing. abt the total cost of the wedding. abt suria actors. abt so many things basically.
Mazreen so sweet to follow yesterday, looked so cute in his white shirt somemore. Farah thinks me and him look good together.. hehehe. and for telling me something i already know, i love her for that :) she was like, "alah shida, both of u so sweet nie!" so many times when all we did was smile at each other :) but then that's farah, so gushy like that. but then again, me and mazreen is the sweetest couple, hahaha.
anyhoo. after the wedding, i went home, changed, then sent mother and liza to didi's house, then took raihan and raimi coz they nak ikut to Queensway. so i was chaperone to them like that, i wasn't sure if i felt young or old then. haha. aisya bought shoes, then makan at mcdonalds, then sent them home, then i went to pasir ris park to meet didi and mak ita and mama, and then went to bak's house to take the food, then went home, bathed, then went to fetch M, sent him to pasir ris, then home, watched patriot while talking to mama throughout the whole show.
... and good chat it was. apparently she talked to didi and mak ita abt me - konon mcm sister bonding session to get some perspectives. and she told me a lot of stuff abt my future which she apparently learnt after talking to her sisters.. a lot of stuff la actually. abt perception, abt money, abt weddings, abt growing up, abt bringing up kids even. and finally she saw my point of view abt the whole bawah-block wedding.
me, my dad and mazreen exchanged hps coz he can't bring camera phone to tekong. so now my dad using my 7210, mazreen using my dad's 6510 and im using mazreen's 7something. still not used to the keypad.
my mom just called ask me if Mazreen smokes. funkiness. she said liza found the lighter which he gave me last night (not that i smoke so kita share lighters or anything, haha. i dont smoke. he gave me this lighter yesterday with a sweet msg behind it :) anyway liza terus told my mother that i am now a smoker. my mom read what was written on the lighter, and called me laughing2, saying liza is now very convinced i smoke. so i spoke to liza, said i dont, and she asked how come i have a lighter then. hehee. then my mom asked if Mazreen smokes. yeah yeah.
slept ultra soundly last night - woke up at 8.20 this morning and rushed like mad. of all days, the vietnam agents had to sampai today and eagerly looked for me, hehe. i felt so bad coming late seh. haha.
i feel for buying another shrek cushion from bk to put in the office to remind me of mazreen... hehehe.
its only monday today. i misses u a lots.
***
wkend was quite good. went on a shopping spree of some sort at TM on sat alone after work - spent $230 total. i was broke before i went shopping, now im even more broke - but who cares la, pasal giving presents to these people makes me happy, hehe. bought the swatch watch for aisya, braun buffel car key pouch for my dad and renoma key/coin pouch for my mom, scrabble junior for liza, and hugo boss in motion for mazreen. didn't get anything for myself altho i was sungguh tempted to buy sandals or that urs bag. dah lama never go shopping alone so it was quite fun not needing to get people's opinions before i buy something.
anyhoo. finished shopping at TM at abt 4.30, met M under his block, took cab home. met parents under block to go JB. ate at Holiday Inn - buffet spread was gd. mcm teringat-ingat the cream puff and prawns sekarang.. haha. halfway thru, me and M went off to the supermarket kat sebelah tu but they got no more supermarket now seh. just shows dah so long tak go there already. bought cleo. took the presents from the car and passed it to them then. M got red, blushing2 opening his present.. so cute, haha. slept on the way home.
"then kak shida and mazreen gave me my be-early birthday present..a swatch watch..will not wear it to skul coz it's nice and i dun want to dirty it..haha!!thanks kak shida and mazreen!!then kak shida and mazreen and me and liza gave parents a gift each...key pouch and key holder..i still haven't pay sis yet but wait yea??now no money..heheh..then liza got junior scrabble from mazreen and kak shida..then mazreen got hugo boss perfume from kak shida..his face was red when he opened it!! ahahah!!then kak shida...never get anything...muahahah!!
above paragraph is from aisyah's blog. i thought it was cute and i just wanted to post it up here, hehe.
smlm went to Yani's wedding with Mazreen. Yani is Farah's cousin from KC.. we weren't really close but we used to go TM together after school dulu. and she was the one who intro me to sheddy dulu, so the basis for our frenship was that i guess. haha. so anyways smlm she was so pretty like that.
... and while makan-ing, farah sempat gossip... abt Nad, very poor thing. abt the total cost of the wedding. abt suria actors. abt so many things basically.
Mazreen so sweet to follow yesterday, looked so cute in his white shirt somemore. Farah thinks me and him look good together.. hehehe. and for telling me something i already know, i love her for that :) she was like, "alah shida, both of u so sweet nie!" so many times when all we did was smile at each other :) but then that's farah, so gushy like that. but then again, me and mazreen is the sweetest couple, hahaha.
anyhoo. after the wedding, i went home, changed, then sent mother and liza to didi's house, then took raihan and raimi coz they nak ikut to Queensway. so i was chaperone to them like that, i wasn't sure if i felt young or old then. haha. aisya bought shoes, then makan at mcdonalds, then sent them home, then i went to pasir ris park to meet didi and mak ita and mama, and then went to bak's house to take the food, then went home, bathed, then went to fetch M, sent him to pasir ris, then home, watched patriot while talking to mama throughout the whole show.
... and good chat it was. apparently she talked to didi and mak ita abt me - konon mcm sister bonding session to get some perspectives. and she told me a lot of stuff abt my future which she apparently learnt after talking to her sisters.. a lot of stuff la actually. abt perception, abt money, abt weddings, abt growing up, abt bringing up kids even. and finally she saw my point of view abt the whole bawah-block wedding.
me, my dad and mazreen exchanged hps coz he can't bring camera phone to tekong. so now my dad using my 7210, mazreen using my dad's 6510 and im using mazreen's 7something. still not used to the keypad.
my mom just called ask me if Mazreen smokes. funkiness. she said liza found the lighter which he gave me last night (not that i smoke so kita share lighters or anything, haha. i dont smoke. he gave me this lighter yesterday with a sweet msg behind it :) anyway liza terus told my mother that i am now a smoker. my mom read what was written on the lighter, and called me laughing2, saying liza is now very convinced i smoke. so i spoke to liza, said i dont, and she asked how come i have a lighter then. hehee. then my mom asked if Mazreen smokes. yeah yeah.
slept ultra soundly last night - woke up at 8.20 this morning and rushed like mad. of all days, the vietnam agents had to sampai today and eagerly looked for me, hehe. i felt so bad coming late seh. haha.
i feel for buying another shrek cushion from bk to put in the office to remind me of mazreen... hehehe.
its only monday today. i misses u a lots.
5/17/2004 11:59:00 am | Permalink |
Saturday, May 15, 2004
i dreamt that posh spice murdered her servant last night, and i was the witness. there's more to the dream but malas to type here la. funky eh, of all people posh spice i go and dream of.
on a better note, my work is kinda done, im just waiting for some more docs then im done, i can go home. right now doing nothing other than listening to 98.7 and updating blog and chatting to fiq.
.. speaking of chatting, aisya will be heartened to know that razak is still single and studying hard at vjc.. hehee.
i really like britney's Everytime. not the techno version ah, i like the normal one. so nice.
had a nice walk/chat with beloved mother this morning on the way to work :)
nothing else to blog. shall continue on monday, or later.
on a better note, my work is kinda done, im just waiting for some more docs then im done, i can go home. right now doing nothing other than listening to 98.7 and updating blog and chatting to fiq.
.. speaking of chatting, aisya will be heartened to know that razak is still single and studying hard at vjc.. hehee.
i really like britney's Everytime. not the techno version ah, i like the normal one. so nice.
had a nice walk/chat with beloved mother this morning on the way to work :)
nothing else to blog. shall continue on monday, or later.
5/15/2004 11:24:00 am | Permalink |
Friday, May 14, 2004
something's going wrong but im not sure what it is.
overloaded plug feels ready to implode once again.
i dont understand why this thing is dragging on and on. i hope he knows im no more angry thru telepathy or something.
i cant wait to see him so that things will be alright again. somehow this week, all the phone calls are so crappy that we usually end up argueing over some thing or other.. its not like i want to be perangai u know. but sometimes things rub me off the wrong way and i get annoyed at that when perhaps i shdn't.
when things get that way, then im sorry. i really am but sometimes maybe because of ego, or whatever, i dont want to apologise first, or im scared you're still angry so i also pretend to be angry, which is stupid, i know.
aiyah. i dunno how to put what i want to say here. i want this feeling to go away. i want to see him la.
*upsettedness*
overloaded plug feels ready to implode once again.
i dont understand why this thing is dragging on and on. i hope he knows im no more angry thru telepathy or something.
i cant wait to see him so that things will be alright again. somehow this week, all the phone calls are so crappy that we usually end up argueing over some thing or other.. its not like i want to be perangai u know. but sometimes things rub me off the wrong way and i get annoyed at that when perhaps i shdn't.
when things get that way, then im sorry. i really am but sometimes maybe because of ego, or whatever, i dont want to apologise first, or im scared you're still angry so i also pretend to be angry, which is stupid, i know.
aiyah. i dunno how to put what i want to say here. i want this feeling to go away. i want to see him la.
*upsettedness*
5/14/2004 04:33:00 pm | Permalink |
im so irritated with M for hanging up the phone while i was talking last night coz he thot i was being perangai like that. lepas tu he got the cheek to sms me telling me im in the wrong some more. memang i shdn't have gotten upset that he wanted to hang up so early, but still i dont think that justified him hanging up the phone on me like that.
marah punyer marah, tetap masih tolong dia call np and all...
... im such a nice gf. hehee. and im hoping that he'll call or sms soon.. so i guess im no more angry? i dont think so ah, im not angry lagi. buat apa nak drag lama2 kan. its just that i hate it when people do that to me and we talked abt it so many times already so i dont understand why he did it again.
anyhoos. i won $25 in that perfect 10 cashcall thing. supposed to be fifty dollars kan, tapi it was done together with my colleague jadi kita splitting the prize, haha. i took down the nos and she called them. somehow i try calling tak pernah get thru, and she very senang to get thru... so ya. $25 just like that. hehe.
went to work with pag this morning.
i like my new template. it looks very neat and pretty with the stars and all.
these budget airlines shd do flights to India.
diet's falling apart btw. i can't be bothered to diet anymore - i'll eat when im hungry and i wont when im not ah. no more fruits and little bits of rice and all that.. losing weight is fun but eating is more fun. hehehe. plus all these fruit intake is not making a difference to..erm.. my bowel movements also.. annoying kan.
on a side note. i've always made decisions based more on my instincts than on logic or anything else i think. so something's telling me that this saturday it shd just be 6 of us, not 8... and im sticking to this decision no matter whatever anyone else might say. when the time for them to meet comes, then we will know.. and im sorry if u get bingited with this decision. or if u decide tak nak pergi, then its ok lor. serious :) i promise i wont get bingited.
for those who are bored, go watch cartoons here
marah punyer marah, tetap masih tolong dia call np and all...
... im such a nice gf. hehee. and im hoping that he'll call or sms soon.. so i guess im no more angry? i dont think so ah, im not angry lagi. buat apa nak drag lama2 kan. its just that i hate it when people do that to me and we talked abt it so many times already so i dont understand why he did it again.
anyhoos. i won $25 in that perfect 10 cashcall thing. supposed to be fifty dollars kan, tapi it was done together with my colleague jadi kita splitting the prize, haha. i took down the nos and she called them. somehow i try calling tak pernah get thru, and she very senang to get thru... so ya. $25 just like that. hehe.
went to work with pag this morning.
i like my new template. it looks very neat and pretty with the stars and all.
these budget airlines shd do flights to India.
diet's falling apart btw. i can't be bothered to diet anymore - i'll eat when im hungry and i wont when im not ah. no more fruits and little bits of rice and all that.. losing weight is fun but eating is more fun. hehehe. plus all these fruit intake is not making a difference to..erm.. my bowel movements also.. annoying kan.
on a side note. i've always made decisions based more on my instincts than on logic or anything else i think. so something's telling me that this saturday it shd just be 6 of us, not 8... and im sticking to this decision no matter whatever anyone else might say. when the time for them to meet comes, then we will know.. and im sorry if u get bingited with this decision. or if u decide tak nak pergi, then its ok lor. serious :) i promise i wont get bingited.
for those who are bored, go watch cartoons here
5/14/2004 01:54:00 pm | Permalink |
Thursday, May 13, 2004
yesterday, was on mc - throat pains again. i didn't actually want to post it up here coz this throat pains is like becoming such a regular occurence.. but after last week, i thought the pain shdn't be ocuring so soon again, like this week kan? but tuesday nite sakit lagi, and kak su's honey treatment didn't work to ease the pain. so to the clinic i went, yesterday. i much prefer tampines' raffles doctor to the tg pagar one... he's so baik, nicely explained everything to me. i got this medicine thing which im supposed to gargle at my throat (not mouth tau. throat.) which i haven't done yet coz im not sure how to gargle at my throat, hehee. im glad he didn't give lozenges coz i cant stand the taste of that thing.
feel the need to thank kak su here (who won scrabble btw - happy now? :P) for the chat this morning. it really helped a lot :)
sometimes i get lazy to type out an entry, esp after reading an entry on someone else's page.. and then i feel like just posting up a link to that site instead.
anyone who listened to perfect 10 this morning would finally realise why they are the best radio channel ard here ;)
on another note. sometimes people dont realise that what they say might hurt, or make some person feel negative, be it sadness or irritation or whatever negativity. im not saying anyone in particular, this is generalisation ajer ok. i might be talking abt myself too. but in case u terasa when u read this, then too bad - think before u talk then. people dont get offended or pissed without reason. even if you dont see what is it that they are so upset abt, at least dont try to make it worst. change the subject, change the tone, but dont push it just to prove your point to me or to show that im being ridiculous.
i know im the kind of person who is ultra easily offended or get pissed off, esp with people i care a lot for (weirdness of it all eh) and i know im the kind who dont like losing.. if i have my opinion, i dont easily change it. but if u can really convince me you're right, i know where i stand then and i'll admit it to you. before that, dont push it and make me get pissed by your insistence that you're right and im not. Not when you dont have a valid point in the first place.
i bet there are people thinking who is it that im talking abt above and wondering if it's them. hehee.
it felt good venting a bit though, altho only thru here. im generalising ok. no person in mind when i wrote that. honest ;)
raudah tk sms me yesterday morning saying she dreamt of me and her at tm just like during the old days. funkiness. lupa nak tanya if there were other people in the dream? Udon? hehee ;) dari last year nak meet up with her sampai sekarang masih belum jumpa. she ajak meet up but i got no money at the moment.. when i have money i shall ok beb. hehee. it'll be so fun to see her, she's so madness personified..
speaking of tkg people. saw on frenster that Grace is coming back to sg, so i also semangat go send her email ask bila she coming. coz last year she came back but i somehow didn't go meet her for the dinner thing coz isln went for that thing also and i didnt feel like seeing isln. anyhoo turns out that grace dah sampai sg already, but now at Jakarta but coming here again end of this month before going back to US. i hope i get to see her lah, miss her so much.
im getting disheartened by some signs, some things. there's stuff i want so bad but im scared to ask for coz person who can provide might think im being.. ridiculous. blah.
feel the need to thank kak su here (who won scrabble btw - happy now? :P) for the chat this morning. it really helped a lot :)
sometimes i get lazy to type out an entry, esp after reading an entry on someone else's page.. and then i feel like just posting up a link to that site instead.
anyone who listened to perfect 10 this morning would finally realise why they are the best radio channel ard here ;)
on another note. sometimes people dont realise that what they say might hurt, or make some person feel negative, be it sadness or irritation or whatever negativity. im not saying anyone in particular, this is generalisation ajer ok. i might be talking abt myself too. but in case u terasa when u read this, then too bad - think before u talk then. people dont get offended or pissed without reason. even if you dont see what is it that they are so upset abt, at least dont try to make it worst. change the subject, change the tone, but dont push it just to prove your point to me or to show that im being ridiculous.
i know im the kind of person who is ultra easily offended or get pissed off, esp with people i care a lot for (weirdness of it all eh) and i know im the kind who dont like losing.. if i have my opinion, i dont easily change it. but if u can really convince me you're right, i know where i stand then and i'll admit it to you. before that, dont push it and make me get pissed by your insistence that you're right and im not. Not when you dont have a valid point in the first place.
i bet there are people thinking who is it that im talking abt above and wondering if it's them. hehee.
it felt good venting a bit though, altho only thru here. im generalising ok. no person in mind when i wrote that. honest ;)
raudah tk sms me yesterday morning saying she dreamt of me and her at tm just like during the old days. funkiness. lupa nak tanya if there were other people in the dream? Udon? hehee ;) dari last year nak meet up with her sampai sekarang masih belum jumpa. she ajak meet up but i got no money at the moment.. when i have money i shall ok beb. hehee. it'll be so fun to see her, she's so madness personified..
speaking of tkg people. saw on frenster that Grace is coming back to sg, so i also semangat go send her email ask bila she coming. coz last year she came back but i somehow didn't go meet her for the dinner thing coz isln went for that thing also and i didnt feel like seeing isln. anyhoo turns out that grace dah sampai sg already, but now at Jakarta but coming here again end of this month before going back to US. i hope i get to see her lah, miss her so much.
im getting disheartened by some signs, some things. there's stuff i want so bad but im scared to ask for coz person who can provide might think im being.. ridiculous. blah.
5/13/2004 04:34:00 pm | Permalink |
Monday, May 10, 2004
friday was good - high tea was fun, making ice-kacang & rojak ourselves. aisya had so much rojak - i think coz she just wanted to make them..
bread pudding was yummylicious.
M came back at 3 plus on friday, coz he had to go dentist.
left cafe vienna at abt 5... then after sending wak & kak ana & tinda home on friday, i went home. at 7 plus M fetched me at home.. went to taka with his parents. going down to the carpark at taka was hell, i tell u, and going up was more.. erm.. hell-ish. there was a traffic jam on that winding slope and i was so worried that the car wd roll back or i wd hit the sides or something ugly like that. tapi tak ok. im so bangga-fied with myself, hehe. if i can do that, then other carparks shd be no probs i guess :)
going taka with M and his parents was fun in a way. i think someone got pissed off coz i was always wandering off alone. i know its tak baik to do that la, and i already apologised but nvm, i shall do it again - im sorry :)
saturday - wati came over in the afternoon, asked me to help her with maths. thought M coming back late from his jurong thing, sekali balik cepat. so after helping wati, asked M we going where. he wants to go somewhere near if im not bringing the car. got pissed off at that.
... when i drive, he says its scary. then bila tak drive, he malas nak go out, nak go tm only. so i got pissed off la, and i think my pissed-offness was justified ok. then after some stupid argueing and hanging up of phones a couple of time, he came over, fetched me and we went out. and yeah i drove coz my mother didnt want to use the car that day. went to bugis and mustafa. (btw. watches are cheaper at mustafa, so go there if u want to buy watches) in the end didn't buy anything coz aisya's watch is sold-out and i didnt like the other watches that i saw, and i didnt know what to get for parents also, so tak beli apa2. after mustafa, went to top up petrol, then bought 2 small tubs ice-cream - ripple for me and choc chip or something like that for him. ate that in the car with chopsticks coz shell doesn't have spoons. he finished off my ice-cream for me.
... seriously think that its quite good he's eating so much. in a way ah. hehe ;)
went home at 11.30pm. next day got scolded by father pasal balik lambat.
then parents asked me to ask M to come with to jb.. but he takut not enough time, so he didn't follow. i got pissed off at that again, but we have this argument all the time when parents ajak go JB, so malas nak type again here for remembrance.
anyhoo, by 5pm we were home already. went angsana, saw mat msias whose dressing got more weirder since the last time i went there. no moo-moo sightings, hehee. had mini-lunch at dunkin donut. bought pizza hut home, bought chalte chalte vcd to watch with aisya this saturday or whenever im free. i drove on the way back - 90 all the way coz parents were nagging abt regrets once licence gets revoked if say anything bad happens. i felt like it took so long to sampai simei like that, hehe.
met M at 6.15 before sending him to pasir ris.
today - i just received a wedding invitation from a colleague.. so happy. hehe. i love getting wedding invitations! :) but its on 6th June, i'll be on my way to kl (Insya'Allah) so how to go? so exciting la, i want to go. this kakak very nice, dulu selalu go masjid with her, tapi lately i haven't been so mcm dah tak jumpa sangat coz she's upstairs. shall think of something. suka pergi weddings2 gini, hehe.
nothing else to blog. tonight survivor last episode. hope rob wins.
am sleepy due to lack of sleep.
smlm malam terwoke up at 2 plus, then cannot sleep.
needed to go toilet, tapi takut.
in the end, the need won.
switched on all the lights in the world like that.
went back to bed.
still cannot sleep.
sms M.
he replied at 5 plus.
the sms woke me up.
sms a bit, then slept again.
woke up at 8.15 thanks to sms from nithya.
kalau tak, dunno what time la i will tersadar from sleep.
rushed like mad.
nasib baik got tudung dah siap.
8.45 keluar rumah.
had 4 slices apple, one slice honeydew, one slice papaya during lunch. am hungry now.
i feel like i missed out so much happenings on today's entry but i cant be bothered to talk a lot. altho there's a lot to talk abt. shall continue tmrw.
bread pudding was yummylicious.
M came back at 3 plus on friday, coz he had to go dentist.
left cafe vienna at abt 5... then after sending wak & kak ana & tinda home on friday, i went home. at 7 plus M fetched me at home.. went to taka with his parents. going down to the carpark at taka was hell, i tell u, and going up was more.. erm.. hell-ish. there was a traffic jam on that winding slope and i was so worried that the car wd roll back or i wd hit the sides or something ugly like that. tapi tak ok. im so bangga-fied with myself, hehe. if i can do that, then other carparks shd be no probs i guess :)
going taka with M and his parents was fun in a way. i think someone got pissed off coz i was always wandering off alone. i know its tak baik to do that la, and i already apologised but nvm, i shall do it again - im sorry :)
saturday - wati came over in the afternoon, asked me to help her with maths. thought M coming back late from his jurong thing, sekali balik cepat. so after helping wati, asked M we going where. he wants to go somewhere near if im not bringing the car. got pissed off at that.
... when i drive, he says its scary. then bila tak drive, he malas nak go out, nak go tm only. so i got pissed off la, and i think my pissed-offness was justified ok. then after some stupid argueing and hanging up of phones a couple of time, he came over, fetched me and we went out. and yeah i drove coz my mother didnt want to use the car that day. went to bugis and mustafa. (btw. watches are cheaper at mustafa, so go there if u want to buy watches) in the end didn't buy anything coz aisya's watch is sold-out and i didnt like the other watches that i saw, and i didnt know what to get for parents also, so tak beli apa2. after mustafa, went to top up petrol, then bought 2 small tubs ice-cream - ripple for me and choc chip or something like that for him. ate that in the car with chopsticks coz shell doesn't have spoons. he finished off my ice-cream for me.
... seriously think that its quite good he's eating so much. in a way ah. hehe ;)
went home at 11.30pm. next day got scolded by father pasal balik lambat.
then parents asked me to ask M to come with to jb.. but he takut not enough time, so he didn't follow. i got pissed off at that again, but we have this argument all the time when parents ajak go JB, so malas nak type again here for remembrance.
anyhoo, by 5pm we were home already. went angsana, saw mat msias whose dressing got more weirder since the last time i went there. no moo-moo sightings, hehee. had mini-lunch at dunkin donut. bought pizza hut home, bought chalte chalte vcd to watch with aisya this saturday or whenever im free. i drove on the way back - 90 all the way coz parents were nagging abt regrets once licence gets revoked if say anything bad happens. i felt like it took so long to sampai simei like that, hehe.
met M at 6.15 before sending him to pasir ris.
today - i just received a wedding invitation from a colleague.. so happy. hehe. i love getting wedding invitations! :) but its on 6th June, i'll be on my way to kl (Insya'Allah) so how to go? so exciting la, i want to go. this kakak very nice, dulu selalu go masjid with her, tapi lately i haven't been so mcm dah tak jumpa sangat coz she's upstairs. shall think of something. suka pergi weddings2 gini, hehe.
nothing else to blog. tonight survivor last episode. hope rob wins.
am sleepy due to lack of sleep.
smlm malam terwoke up at 2 plus, then cannot sleep.
needed to go toilet, tapi takut.
in the end, the need won.
switched on all the lights in the world like that.
went back to bed.
still cannot sleep.
sms M.
he replied at 5 plus.
the sms woke me up.
sms a bit, then slept again.
woke up at 8.15 thanks to sms from nithya.
kalau tak, dunno what time la i will tersadar from sleep.
rushed like mad.
nasib baik got tudung dah siap.
8.45 keluar rumah.
had 4 slices apple, one slice honeydew, one slice papaya during lunch. am hungry now.
i feel like i missed out so much happenings on today's entry but i cant be bothered to talk a lot. altho there's a lot to talk abt. shall continue tmrw.
5/10/2004 04:56:00 pm | Permalink |
Thursday, May 06, 2004
**boredom**
let us get to know me better.
. . W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R . . .*
1) pierce your nose or tongue?
>> tongue. nose piercing is ugly.
2) be serious or be funny?
>> i'm always, ALWAYS funny. serious.
3) drink whole or skim milk?
>> huh?
* . . . A R E Y O U . . .*
4) simple or complicated?
>> simple i think.
* . . . D O Y O U P R E F E R . . . *
5) flowers or angels?
>> both.
6) grey or gray?
>> grey.
7) colored or black-and-white photos?
>> both.
8) lust or love?
>> love.
9) sunrise or sunset?
>> sunrise (though i dont think i can ever wake up early enough to catch it?)
10) M&Ms or Skittles?
>> M&Ms
11) rap or rock?
>> rap
12) staying up late or waking up early?
>> staying up late.
13) TV or radio?
>> MTV
15) eating apples or oranges?
>> apples & honeydews
* . . . A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y . . . *
16) Do you have a crush?:
>> yes
17) Who is it?
>> Mazreen. hehe.
* . . . D O Y O U P R E F E R . . . *
18) being hot or cold?
>> hot.
19) tall members of the opposite sex?
>> yes.
20) sun or moon?
>> moon
21) emeralds or rubies?
>> neither.
22) left or right?
>> right.
23) having 10 acquaintances or 1 best friend?
>> 1 best friend, who doesn't let me down?
24) sun or rain?
>> sun
25) vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?
>> vanilla.
27) green beans or carrots?
>> neither.
26) boys or girls?
>> huh?
28) low fat or fat free?
>> ultra fat free
* . . . M I S C E L L A N E O U S . . . *
29) What is your biggest fear in the world?
>> not being in control of my life.
30) Kids or no kids?
>> kids
31) Cat or dog?
>> ... neither?
32) Half empty or half full?
>> half full.
33) Mustard or ketchup?
>> neither.
34) Hard cover books or soft cover books?
>> soft cover
35) Newspaper or magazine?
>> both
36) Sandals or sneakers?
>> sandals.
37) Wonder or amazement?
>> wonder.
38) Red car or white car?
>> black cars.
39) Happy and poor or sad and rich?
>> Happy & poor.
40) Singing or dancing?
>> both in solitude.
41) *question censored*
>>
42) Corduroy or plain?
>> entah. what is corduroy?
43) Happy or sad?
>> happy lah.
45) Blondes or brunettes?
>> brunettes.
* . . . A B O U T Y O U . . . *
What time is it?
>> 1747
Full name?
>> Shida
Names and ages of siblings?
Aisyah, 15. Haliza, 7.
Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake?
21
Date that you regularly blow them out?
feb 3
Pets?
no thanks. humans are enough.
Height?
160 cm.
Eye color?
black.
Hair color?
black.
Piercings?
dont really fancy them anymore.
let us get to know me better.
. . W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R . . .*
1) pierce your nose or tongue?
>> tongue. nose piercing is ugly.
2) be serious or be funny?
>> i'm always, ALWAYS funny. serious.
3) drink whole or skim milk?
>> huh?
* . . . A R E Y O U . . .*
4) simple or complicated?
>> simple i think.
* . . . D O Y O U P R E F E R . . . *
5) flowers or angels?
>> both.
6) grey or gray?
>> grey.
7) colored or black-and-white photos?
>> both.
8) lust or love?
>> love.
9) sunrise or sunset?
>> sunrise (though i dont think i can ever wake up early enough to catch it?)
10) M&Ms or Skittles?
>> M&Ms
11) rap or rock?
>> rap
12) staying up late or waking up early?
>> staying up late.
13) TV or radio?
>> MTV
15) eating apples or oranges?
>> apples & honeydews
* . . . A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y . . . *
16) Do you have a crush?:
>> yes
17) Who is it?
>> Mazreen. hehe.
* . . . D O Y O U P R E F E R . . . *
18) being hot or cold?
>> hot.
19) tall members of the opposite sex?
>> yes.
20) sun or moon?
>> moon
21) emeralds or rubies?
>> neither.
22) left or right?
>> right.
23) having 10 acquaintances or 1 best friend?
>> 1 best friend, who doesn't let me down?
24) sun or rain?
>> sun
25) vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?
>> vanilla.
27) green beans or carrots?
>> neither.
26) boys or girls?
>> huh?
28) low fat or fat free?
>> ultra fat free
* . . . M I S C E L L A N E O U S . . . *
29) What is your biggest fear in the world?
>> not being in control of my life.
30) Kids or no kids?
>> kids
31) Cat or dog?
>> ... neither?
32) Half empty or half full?
>> half full.
33) Mustard or ketchup?
>> neither.
34) Hard cover books or soft cover books?
>> soft cover
35) Newspaper or magazine?
>> both
36) Sandals or sneakers?
>> sandals.
37) Wonder or amazement?
>> wonder.
38) Red car or white car?
>> black cars.
39) Happy and poor or sad and rich?
>> Happy & poor.
40) Singing or dancing?
>> both in solitude.
41) *question censored*
>>
42) Corduroy or plain?
>> entah. what is corduroy?
43) Happy or sad?
>> happy lah.
45) Blondes or brunettes?
>> brunettes.
* . . . A B O U T Y O U . . . *
What time is it?
>> 1747
Full name?
>> Shida
Names and ages of siblings?
Aisyah, 15. Haliza, 7.
Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake?
21
Date that you regularly blow them out?
feb 3
Pets?
no thanks. humans are enough.
Height?
160 cm.
Eye color?
black.
Hair color?
black.
Piercings?
dont really fancy them anymore.
5/06/2004 05:50:00 pm | Permalink |
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
1. dogs
2. being in enclosed spaces with too many people for too long
3. losing anyone that means so much.
THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:
1. mazreen with his jokes
2. mazreen with his cute facial expressions
3. mazreen just being himself.
THREE PEOPLE I LOVE:
1. Parents (they are like, one unit so satu slot for them
2. Sisters (again, just one slot for them)
3. who else but that special one ;)
THREE THINGS I LOVE:
1. being in love.
2. spending time with the beloved, even though kalau lagi bingit with each other.
3. feeing happy and at peace with the world.
THREE THINGS I HATE:
1. crowds.
2. people telling me what to do.
3. waking up early.
THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:
1. why parents sometimes still treat me as a little girl.
2. why cars and petrol so expensive in sg.
3. Additional Maths.
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
1. hp
2. my pc
3. office phone
THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
1. listening to 98.7
2. missing somebody real bad
3. doing this quiz.
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
1. get married.
2. have babies.
3. go around the world
THREE COLORS I LIKE:
1. white
2. orange
3. black
THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
1. do nothing for hours
2. drive
3. love ;)
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
1. quiet
2. trust people too easily
3. giver/taker.
THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
1. cook (at the moment laaaah.)
2. make people see how much i love them
3. exercise 8D
THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
1. my heart
2. my gut instinct
3. Flop Poppy "Jika Kau Bercinta Lagi"
THREE THINGS I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:
1. S Club 7.
2. people who want to bring u down
3. your bf/gf when they are angry. coz their words can hurt :)
THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
1. serious?
2. why?
3. funky..
THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
1. chocolates bars
2. ice cream yg sedap2 the flavour.
3. beach rd mutton chop/mee goreng
THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN:
1. how to drive better.
2. how to make that special someone love u just as much.
3. how to be a more sensible person
THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
1. plain water
2. plain water
3. plain water
1. dogs
2. being in enclosed spaces with too many people for too long
3. losing anyone that means so much.
THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:
1. mazreen with his jokes
2. mazreen with his cute facial expressions
3. mazreen just being himself.
THREE PEOPLE I LOVE:
1. Parents (they are like, one unit so satu slot for them
2. Sisters (again, just one slot for them)
3. who else but that special one ;)
THREE THINGS I LOVE:
1. being in love.
2. spending time with the beloved, even though kalau lagi bingit with each other.
3. feeing happy and at peace with the world.
THREE THINGS I HATE:
1. crowds.
2. people telling me what to do.
3. waking up early.
THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND:
1. why parents sometimes still treat me as a little girl.
2. why cars and petrol so expensive in sg.
3. Additional Maths.
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
1. hp
2. my pc
3. office phone
THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
1. listening to 98.7
2. missing somebody real bad
3. doing this quiz.
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
1. get married.
2. have babies.
3. go around the world
THREE COLORS I LIKE:
1. white
2. orange
3. black
THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
1. do nothing for hours
2. drive
3. love ;)
THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
1. quiet
2. trust people too easily
3. giver/taker.
THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
1. cook (at the moment laaaah.)
2. make people see how much i love them
3. exercise 8D
THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
1. my heart
2. my gut instinct
3. Flop Poppy "Jika Kau Bercinta Lagi"
THREE THINGS I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:
1. S Club 7.
2. people who want to bring u down
3. your bf/gf when they are angry. coz their words can hurt :)
THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
1. serious?
2. why?
3. funky..
THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
1. chocolates bars
2. ice cream yg sedap2 the flavour.
3. beach rd mutton chop/mee goreng
THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN:
1. how to drive better.
2. how to make that special someone love u just as much.
3. how to be a more sensible person
THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
1. plain water
2. plain water
3. plain water
5/06/2004 05:35:00 pm | Permalink |
wooohooo the special one coming home tmrw!!
(i got this sudden need to blog coz hoobastank's song on the radio now - and now this song reminds me of him so much. yeah yeah i misses you altho the week passed by so fast.)
this hoobastank song so nice nie. i like it so much. so inspired, so feeling, so lovey-dovey in a sentimental way, mcm jiwangness to the max but in a nice way.
.. and the reason is you...
trying to make yourself better just to please your other half is so the best gift you can give them eh? i think la. amongst other things that you can give (talking non-materialistic stuff here, so forget the nike jacket/sweater thing) i think making yourself better is good. i feel like it shows an ongoing effort to make the relationship, in turn, better. i might be talking crap though, so excuse me. im just filled with happy thoughts that he's coming home tmrw. altho sat afternoon will be spoilt coz of that jurong thing, but who cares. i just changed duties with kak su, im not working on sat. happiness abt that.
if there shd be a boyfriend's day, there should be a girlfriend's day also eh? ;)
i might seem materialistic to the world, but im not tau. im actually nice and humble and easy-going and ultra appreciative of everything. might seem unbelievable, but i actually know that something expensive dont necessarily give you much joy, while something ultra cheapo might make you so happy. trust me, i know. hehehe.
if above paragraph sounds like im fishing for gifts, no i'm NOT. im just telling people what im like. hehehe. altho aisyah's bday coming up. u all know the rules - bday girl sisters get gifts too. ok?
ok one of my colleagues just asked me what cream i put on my face, coz its getting whiter and more berseri (spelling?) im funkified surprised. really ah? i didnt realise leh.. *giggles* must be love eh? ;) haha, that comment sort-of made my day. i remember farah asking me the same question that time at mazzy's house and then she rummaging thru my bag and saw the loreal cream and asking "is this it? is this it??" Altho i have to say i think at that time it was the cream. but now i dunno what coz im not using the cream anymore. so i think it must be love. hehehe.
the high tea tmrw - makin ramai orang yg going. first was supposed to be just me and kak ana and pag. then the usual aunts - Didi, Tinda, Mak Ita & my mother. I guess Nenek and Wak coming? Then Abg Aim coming also. Then Aisyah. So ramai. Hilang motivation nak buat muka up sikit, haha. But the more the merrier. can't wait! :)
last night dinner was just mee soto. and lunch yesterday: yoghurt and apple and honeydew.
Britney's Everytime on radio now *happiness* saw the music vid, didn't really get it.
today lunch - a bit of rice. later shall go buy fruits.
i actually feel like i look thinner already :)
today's post is random. but i feel for a long post. im so happy im getting a long weekend off from work. and im so happy dearest bf coming home tmrw. 31 more hours :)
need ideas on what to get for parents. sunday is their 22nd wedding anniversary. im thinking of getting something with a his & hers thing, but dunno what thing yet. aisya suggested bedspread - but we got that for them last year. a shopping trip is imperative. im most prob getting aisya a watch, so she can go choose the shoes with parents instead. she doesn't want a makan2 at adang or at home, so i hope no one is hopeful for that anymore, but please go buy the presents still ok - i dont mind shoes or sandals. Aisya's so taking after her sis (me :), malu these kind of celebrations. im so proud of her.. hehee.
i feel uneven, like my right side is higher than my left. i feel thin. i feel loved. i feel happy.
i'mthegirlwholovestheboy.
hehe ;)
(i got this sudden need to blog coz hoobastank's song on the radio now - and now this song reminds me of him so much. yeah yeah i misses you altho the week passed by so fast.)
this hoobastank song so nice nie. i like it so much. so inspired, so feeling, so lovey-dovey in a sentimental way, mcm jiwangness to the max but in a nice way.
.. and the reason is you...
trying to make yourself better just to please your other half is so the best gift you can give them eh? i think la. amongst other things that you can give (talking non-materialistic stuff here, so forget the nike jacket/sweater thing) i think making yourself better is good. i feel like it shows an ongoing effort to make the relationship, in turn, better. i might be talking crap though, so excuse me. im just filled with happy thoughts that he's coming home tmrw. altho sat afternoon will be spoilt coz of that jurong thing, but who cares. i just changed duties with kak su, im not working on sat. happiness abt that.
if there shd be a boyfriend's day, there should be a girlfriend's day also eh? ;)
i might seem materialistic to the world, but im not tau. im actually nice and humble and easy-going and ultra appreciative of everything. might seem unbelievable, but i actually know that something expensive dont necessarily give you much joy, while something ultra cheapo might make you so happy. trust me, i know. hehehe.
if above paragraph sounds like im fishing for gifts, no i'm NOT. im just telling people what im like. hehehe. altho aisyah's bday coming up. u all know the rules - bday girl sisters get gifts too. ok?
ok one of my colleagues just asked me what cream i put on my face, coz its getting whiter and more berseri (spelling?) im funkified surprised. really ah? i didnt realise leh.. *giggles* must be love eh? ;) haha, that comment sort-of made my day. i remember farah asking me the same question that time at mazzy's house and then she rummaging thru my bag and saw the loreal cream and asking "is this it? is this it??" Altho i have to say i think at that time it was the cream. but now i dunno what coz im not using the cream anymore. so i think it must be love. hehehe.
the high tea tmrw - makin ramai orang yg going. first was supposed to be just me and kak ana and pag. then the usual aunts - Didi, Tinda, Mak Ita & my mother. I guess Nenek and Wak coming? Then Abg Aim coming also. Then Aisyah. So ramai. Hilang motivation nak buat muka up sikit, haha. But the more the merrier. can't wait! :)
last night dinner was just mee soto. and lunch yesterday: yoghurt and apple and honeydew.
Britney's Everytime on radio now *happiness* saw the music vid, didn't really get it.
today lunch - a bit of rice. later shall go buy fruits.
i actually feel like i look thinner already :)
today's post is random. but i feel for a long post. im so happy im getting a long weekend off from work. and im so happy dearest bf coming home tmrw. 31 more hours :)
need ideas on what to get for parents. sunday is their 22nd wedding anniversary. im thinking of getting something with a his & hers thing, but dunno what thing yet. aisya suggested bedspread - but we got that for them last year. a shopping trip is imperative. im most prob getting aisya a watch, so she can go choose the shoes with parents instead. she doesn't want a makan2 at adang or at home, so i hope no one is hopeful for that anymore, but please go buy the presents still ok - i dont mind shoes or sandals. Aisya's so taking after her sis (me :), malu these kind of celebrations. im so proud of her.. hehee.
i feel uneven, like my right side is higher than my left. i feel thin. i feel loved. i feel happy.
i'mthegirlwholovestheboy.
hehe ;)
5/06/2004 12:59:00 pm | Permalink |
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
today's wednesday.. meaning hopefully M gets to call later tonight. can't wait :)
i didn't realise its raining so heavily outside. need to go watsons.
speaking of watsons. this saturday, need to go buy presents for aisyah's birthday and parents' wedding anniversary (which is this sunday)
tmrw im moving place - from my place to kak su's place. and that will be my new home in this office - nearer to the pantry, very worrying and nerve-wrecking coz of the ghost stories im hearing lately.
throat feels better thanks to the honey + hot water treatment recommended by kak su.
dreamt of mazreen's mom and kak lin yesterday. funkiness i tell u. i dont exactly remember what it's abt, but i know i was at 144's void deck, outside the shops there, and his mom and sis came into the shop i was in. then mcm tak ingat sangat lagi. again, dream was in black and white - that much i remembered.
i tried to be clever and messed a bit with my internet settings - sekali realised that all my history settings were deleted, meaning now i got to type out every www add that i want to access again. lecehfying.
i did those leg raise and sit ups last night - tak banyak sangat la, only 40 leg raise and 20 sit ups and i was abt to die already. for lunch yesterday i had apple and 2 red bean paos. one small bottle plain water. dinner was a bit of rice with ikan goreng. I refer to that as kampung food tau, coz its like so cutely simple like that.. hehe. this morning i had soya bean drink - which reminds me of M :)
i feel for wok express' kway teow goreng.
i didn't realise its raining so heavily outside. need to go watsons.
speaking of watsons. this saturday, need to go buy presents for aisyah's birthday and parents' wedding anniversary (which is this sunday)
tmrw im moving place - from my place to kak su's place. and that will be my new home in this office - nearer to the pantry, very worrying and nerve-wrecking coz of the ghost stories im hearing lately.
throat feels better thanks to the honey + hot water treatment recommended by kak su.
dreamt of mazreen's mom and kak lin yesterday. funkiness i tell u. i dont exactly remember what it's abt, but i know i was at 144's void deck, outside the shops there, and his mom and sis came into the shop i was in. then mcm tak ingat sangat lagi. again, dream was in black and white - that much i remembered.
i tried to be clever and messed a bit with my internet settings - sekali realised that all my history settings were deleted, meaning now i got to type out every www add that i want to access again. lecehfying.
i did those leg raise and sit ups last night - tak banyak sangat la, only 40 leg raise and 20 sit ups and i was abt to die already. for lunch yesterday i had apple and 2 red bean paos. one small bottle plain water. dinner was a bit of rice with ikan goreng. I refer to that as kampung food tau, coz its like so cutely simple like that.. hehe. this morning i had soya bean drink - which reminds me of M :)
i feel for wok express' kway teow goreng.
5/05/2004 12:09:00 pm | Permalink |
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
my throat is starting to hurt again. started this morning when aisyah woke up to go school and i felt pain - thought it was just dry but when i tried to drink water, it hurts to swallow nie. i hate lah like this. plus i got no more medicine for this - pag took mine last week when she had her throat pain.
still sticking to my diet. yesterday's lunch - apple, one slice honeydew, one packet soya bean milk.
today's lunch - 2 red bean pao. maybe yoghurt.
last night's dinner - rice (just a bit) with ikan bakar :)
tried to do those leg raise and sit ups as recommended by kak ana last night, tapi tersleepy so mcm lost the motivation like that. haha.
feel for ice-cream with those mini m&m's on top.
kak ana on mc today so im bored, no one to layan.
throat hurts la.
still sticking to my diet. yesterday's lunch - apple, one slice honeydew, one packet soya bean milk.
today's lunch - 2 red bean pao. maybe yoghurt.
last night's dinner - rice (just a bit) with ikan bakar :)
tried to do those leg raise and sit ups as recommended by kak ana last night, tapi tersleepy so mcm lost the motivation like that. haha.
feel for ice-cream with those mini m&m's on top.
kak ana on mc today so im bored, no one to layan.
throat hurts la.
5/04/2004 11:34:00 am | Permalink |
Monday, May 03, 2004
first off - today's our 9 years 3 months anniversary ;) 9 years coz we met abt 9 years ago in pri sch. hehehe.
started the diet today - will continue til i hopefully reach 48kg. (except for this friday - high tea, so its excusable) Was telling mazreen that I'm going for high tea on friday, and he said he's happy his gf finally getting a healthy lifestyle. i was like, "apa yg healthy sangat?" then he said "you going hiking kan?" funky right, i go hiking. so i told him im going for high tea, not hiking... so instead of fit, it shd be fat eh. haha.
so anyways. friday i met him at pasir ris. so lama like that tak jumpa, so rindu. hehe. his fren tumpang, so we sent him to bedok, then went to his block - agreed on the way that he'll just go home and rest and we'll meet on sat morning ajer. so we were sitting ard in the car for a while before he goes up, sekali jumpa his bro and sis-in-law with the 2 kids. we offered sent them back, pasal a bit the leceh to walk with a sleeping baby and all kan.. and then went back to M's block again, and he went home, and i went home, and at night after i fell asleep, he called. i wanted to wake up and call him back but somehow didn't. so i called him the next day, sat morning - woke up at 9 voluntarily ok :) coz mmg dah plan to watch the earliest movie since the week before the field camp. called his hp but he didn't ans. so i called his house, his mom woke him up, and we plan to meet at 10.30. asked him to fetch me at home.. apparently he memang wanted to meet me at my house without telling me to surprise me, but i had to ask him first.. haha.
.. then took train to TM coz my mom wanted to use the car. went to GV, saw that my movie timings which i informed Mazreen semua salah... haha. so malu. we bought tix for starsky & hutch at TM (earliest show at 1225... i wanted a show at 11 plus like that, tapi takde.) then we used the AXS to buy tix for 50 first dates at Plaza Sing for 5pm (first time pakai that thing to buy tix - super funky eh, we were trying a few times to get the best seats) Then went to LJS to eat, then watched the movie - very funny. snoop dogg's cane is cool.. and i keep teringat-ing the part when Ben Stiller kept going "do it. do it." in that deep voice dgn muka2 and all, i thought that was funny.
anyways. after movie, went to ah beng to eat. somehow after masuk-ing NS, he gets hungry all the time.. he would eat a lot, and then he would eat my share also if i dont finish them, and then 2 hours later, gets hungry again. funkiness. i had nasi ayam, but didn't finish, and M finished them off for me, plus mee goreng also. then he went to get ice-cream. that was supposed to last him til malam.. tapi after the 2nd movie, he was hungry again. cute kan.
anyways. after makaning at ah beng, took 65 to town. nice bus ride - got to see him sleep. there's something abt people sleeping that makes them cuter eh? hehe.
watched 50 first dates - rob schneider was ultra funnys, esp in his impersonation as drew barrymore. and 10 second Tom is kelakar sungguh. the movie so sweet nie, i like. altho quite draggy in the middle part, but all in all it was good. might re-watch with aisya if she wants to? or we go buy the dvd k beb.
after movie. went carrefour, bought ice-cream and chocs and sat outside tu. called my mom and arranged to meet her at mustafa coz M wanted to buy fred perry cheapo tshirts and aisya also got ask parents to go there to buy food. somehow she likes going there - bangla in white cow's skin? hehee ;) walked ard, M bought his cheapo casio watch which he's so bangga to wear (and it comes complete with casing ok) His fred perry cheapo tshirts look like kain buruk so he didn't buy them in the end. After mustafa, we went to Changi Village to eat with parents and sisters. Then they went to look at hps as usual - me and mazreen sat outside. was fun to me somehow, dunno why also.
then went home, M came upstairs to take his helmet, then we sat outside for a while, talked2, and he cracked me up with his casio watch actions - sampai sekarang teringat mcm kelakar like that. esp when i was in the train this morning, coz he said the other day he was going to aksyen in the train, and i had to bite my lips to stop myself from smiling sendiri2 in the train. merepekness tau. then he went home naik moto. i read papers. at 2 we talked til 4am. then sleep.
so yeah, saturday went well for us :) the longest time i ever spent with him in one whole day i think - its like an hour each for each day we spent apart... hehee.
sunday - nothing much happened. went to the jemputans with parents coz got no food to eat at home. felt bad that dah so old but still pergi makan like that, so i gave money also - hehe, sounds like kena paksa eh? but actually tak :) went home, read papers, sekali ter-fell asleep on the sofa. woke up when M sms, found everyone sleeping. by then was 6.10. siap2 and all. 6.45 reached his blk, didn't tell him i was going up, and sms him to come down at 7. then i went upstairs, he opened the door and nearly slammed it back at me coz he wasn't wearing a tshirt or anything coz he wasn't expecting me. sungguh terkejut - i felt so unwelcomed.. haha. then i went in, sat ard, talked with his mom and aunt, he siap, then his dad came home, then i got tapai for my mom, then went to send him, then still got time, so sat around in the car first. then 7.45 he went off - and next saturday then i'll see him again Insya'Allah.
we talked for a while on the phone last night.. and he called again this morning at 5am. pasal for the next 3 days (til wednesday night) he can't call - sit. test in the forests again. its so nice talking to him in the early morning, altho i'll be super groggy and dunno what on earth he's talking abt, but its so nice to hear his voice pagi2 buta like that. he wished happy anniversary (hehe, sweetness :) and told me to have fun at friday's high tea, etc etc.. super sweet la.
... kl trip - mazreen confirmed my thoughts that he doesn't want to go for 5 days coz if he gets a week leave, then he wd want to spend time with his family also (i got thought so lor... tapi wanted to hear it straight from him) Meaning i got to further arrange with my parents mcm mana. aisya said she dont mind anything, asalkan pergi kl sudah. its just that im not sure when he can go, so im not sure what dates to cancel. or lets say he cannot go at all, then i would want to stay at kl for 4 nights. so im having a headache trying to think of something. i hope whatever the plan is, it works out.. Insya'Allah :)
this is one long entry eh. shall end it now.
im so glad weekend was fun :)
started the diet today - will continue til i hopefully reach 48kg. (except for this friday - high tea, so its excusable) Was telling mazreen that I'm going for high tea on friday, and he said he's happy his gf finally getting a healthy lifestyle. i was like, "apa yg healthy sangat?" then he said "you going hiking kan?" funky right, i go hiking. so i told him im going for high tea, not hiking... so instead of fit, it shd be fat eh. haha.
so anyways. friday i met him at pasir ris. so lama like that tak jumpa, so rindu. hehe. his fren tumpang, so we sent him to bedok, then went to his block - agreed on the way that he'll just go home and rest and we'll meet on sat morning ajer. so we were sitting ard in the car for a while before he goes up, sekali jumpa his bro and sis-in-law with the 2 kids. we offered sent them back, pasal a bit the leceh to walk with a sleeping baby and all kan.. and then went back to M's block again, and he went home, and i went home, and at night after i fell asleep, he called. i wanted to wake up and call him back but somehow didn't. so i called him the next day, sat morning - woke up at 9 voluntarily ok :) coz mmg dah plan to watch the earliest movie since the week before the field camp. called his hp but he didn't ans. so i called his house, his mom woke him up, and we plan to meet at 10.30. asked him to fetch me at home.. apparently he memang wanted to meet me at my house without telling me to surprise me, but i had to ask him first.. haha.
.. then took train to TM coz my mom wanted to use the car. went to GV, saw that my movie timings which i informed Mazreen semua salah... haha. so malu. we bought tix for starsky & hutch at TM (earliest show at 1225... i wanted a show at 11 plus like that, tapi takde.) then we used the AXS to buy tix for 50 first dates at Plaza Sing for 5pm (first time pakai that thing to buy tix - super funky eh, we were trying a few times to get the best seats) Then went to LJS to eat, then watched the movie - very funny. snoop dogg's cane is cool.. and i keep teringat-ing the part when Ben Stiller kept going "do it. do it." in that deep voice dgn muka2 and all, i thought that was funny.
anyways. after movie, went to ah beng to eat. somehow after masuk-ing NS, he gets hungry all the time.. he would eat a lot, and then he would eat my share also if i dont finish them, and then 2 hours later, gets hungry again. funkiness. i had nasi ayam, but didn't finish, and M finished them off for me, plus mee goreng also. then he went to get ice-cream. that was supposed to last him til malam.. tapi after the 2nd movie, he was hungry again. cute kan.
anyways. after makaning at ah beng, took 65 to town. nice bus ride - got to see him sleep. there's something abt people sleeping that makes them cuter eh? hehe.
watched 50 first dates - rob schneider was ultra funnys, esp in his impersonation as drew barrymore. and 10 second Tom is kelakar sungguh. the movie so sweet nie, i like. altho quite draggy in the middle part, but all in all it was good. might re-watch with aisya if she wants to? or we go buy the dvd k beb.
after movie. went carrefour, bought ice-cream and chocs and sat outside tu. called my mom and arranged to meet her at mustafa coz M wanted to buy fred perry cheapo tshirts and aisya also got ask parents to go there to buy food. somehow she likes going there - bangla in white cow's skin? hehee ;) walked ard, M bought his cheapo casio watch which he's so bangga to wear (and it comes complete with casing ok) His fred perry cheapo tshirts look like kain buruk so he didn't buy them in the end. After mustafa, we went to Changi Village to eat with parents and sisters. Then they went to look at hps as usual - me and mazreen sat outside. was fun to me somehow, dunno why also.
then went home, M came upstairs to take his helmet, then we sat outside for a while, talked2, and he cracked me up with his casio watch actions - sampai sekarang teringat mcm kelakar like that. esp when i was in the train this morning, coz he said the other day he was going to aksyen in the train, and i had to bite my lips to stop myself from smiling sendiri2 in the train. merepekness tau. then he went home naik moto. i read papers. at 2 we talked til 4am. then sleep.
so yeah, saturday went well for us :) the longest time i ever spent with him in one whole day i think - its like an hour each for each day we spent apart... hehee.
sunday - nothing much happened. went to the jemputans with parents coz got no food to eat at home. felt bad that dah so old but still pergi makan like that, so i gave money also - hehe, sounds like kena paksa eh? but actually tak :) went home, read papers, sekali ter-fell asleep on the sofa. woke up when M sms, found everyone sleeping. by then was 6.10. siap2 and all. 6.45 reached his blk, didn't tell him i was going up, and sms him to come down at 7. then i went upstairs, he opened the door and nearly slammed it back at me coz he wasn't wearing a tshirt or anything coz he wasn't expecting me. sungguh terkejut - i felt so unwelcomed.. haha. then i went in, sat ard, talked with his mom and aunt, he siap, then his dad came home, then i got tapai for my mom, then went to send him, then still got time, so sat around in the car first. then 7.45 he went off - and next saturday then i'll see him again Insya'Allah.
we talked for a while on the phone last night.. and he called again this morning at 5am. pasal for the next 3 days (til wednesday night) he can't call - sit. test in the forests again. its so nice talking to him in the early morning, altho i'll be super groggy and dunno what on earth he's talking abt, but its so nice to hear his voice pagi2 buta like that. he wished happy anniversary (hehe, sweetness :) and told me to have fun at friday's high tea, etc etc.. super sweet la.
... kl trip - mazreen confirmed my thoughts that he doesn't want to go for 5 days coz if he gets a week leave, then he wd want to spend time with his family also (i got thought so lor... tapi wanted to hear it straight from him) Meaning i got to further arrange with my parents mcm mana. aisya said she dont mind anything, asalkan pergi kl sudah. its just that im not sure when he can go, so im not sure what dates to cancel. or lets say he cannot go at all, then i would want to stay at kl for 4 nights. so im having a headache trying to think of something. i hope whatever the plan is, it works out.. Insya'Allah :)
this is one long entry eh. shall end it now.
im so glad weekend was fun :)
5/03/2004 05:01:00 pm | Permalink |
Five Things I Would Buy With $1,000,000
1. Black Mazda 6
2. Round the world holiday with M.. if he wants to come with la.
3. whatever things for dearest ones that they want. sisters, parents, Mazreen.
4. keep for my wedding day. hahaha.
5. remainder? save them for a rainy day perhaps.
10 Years Ago, I...
1. was 11.
2. Pri 5 at Tampines Pri
3. have i started noticing Mazreen then? can't remember. or was it in pri 6?
4. moved from Tampines to Pasir Ris.
5. was at the bottom of the class for the first time.
5 Years Ago, I...
1. was 16
2. took O'levels.
3. went on my first date.
4. had my heart broken for the first time.. hehe :)
5. was sad to leave tkg coz of the good canteen food and good bus no 31 rides to and from school, hehe.
3 Years Ago, I...
1. was 18.
2. started wearing tudung.
3. took the first step twds getting driving licence.
4. left my first permanent job.
5. found 2 gd friends in Fiq and Mus.
1 Year Ago, I...
1. was 20.
2. started working at tg pagar.
3. started being financially independent and loved being so.
4. went on my first trip with beloved farah maria. to kl ajer but had madness fun.
5. beginning of last year, think i nearly put myself thru hell and back? hehe. survived. good for me coz at the end of the day, i found the best :)
So Far This Year, i
1. found the bestest guy in the world (or rather, he found me? or more appropriately, re-find each other. hehe) and now he's my bf ;)
2. bought my first car.
3. went to kl once ajer.
4. having good relations with the world, Alhamdulillah.
5. am happy.
Yesterday, I....
1. sent Mazreen to pasir ris.
2. went to 2 jemputans but only attended 1.
3. went over to Mazreen's house to sort-of surprise him, good gf that i am. hehehe. can tell he's happy, yeah yeah :)
4. got tapai from M's mom for my mom - which made my mom happy pulak coz she loves tapai.
5. loved the time spent with M :)
Today, I ....
1. have been with Mazreen for 9 years 3 months ;) yeah an anniversary.. hehehe.
2. will look fwd to Wednesday coz that's the earliest to hear his voice.
3. feel for lychee ice blend.
4. shall diet.
5. am missing Mazreen.
Tomorrow I will
1. look fwd to Wednesday again. hahah. and to Saturday to see him again.
2. still diet, hopefully.
3. try to wake up early.
4. go to the library to borrow good books.
5. still miss mazreen.
1. Black Mazda 6
2. Round the world holiday with M.. if he wants to come with la.
3. whatever things for dearest ones that they want. sisters, parents, Mazreen.
4. keep for my wedding day. hahaha.
5. remainder? save them for a rainy day perhaps.
10 Years Ago, I...
1. was 11.
2. Pri 5 at Tampines Pri
3. have i started noticing Mazreen then? can't remember. or was it in pri 6?
4. moved from Tampines to Pasir Ris.
5. was at the bottom of the class for the first time.
5 Years Ago, I...
1. was 16
2. took O'levels.
3. went on my first date.
4. had my heart broken for the first time.. hehe :)
5. was sad to leave tkg coz of the good canteen food and good bus no 31 rides to and from school, hehe.
3 Years Ago, I...
1. was 18.
2. started wearing tudung.
3. took the first step twds getting driving licence.
4. left my first permanent job.
5. found 2 gd friends in Fiq and Mus.
1 Year Ago, I...
1. was 20.
2. started working at tg pagar.
3. started being financially independent and loved being so.
4. went on my first trip with beloved farah maria. to kl ajer but had madness fun.
5. beginning of last year, think i nearly put myself thru hell and back? hehe. survived. good for me coz at the end of the day, i found the best :)
So Far This Year, i
1. found the bestest guy in the world (or rather, he found me? or more appropriately, re-find each other. hehe) and now he's my bf ;)
2. bought my first car.
3. went to kl once ajer.
4. having good relations with the world, Alhamdulillah.
5. am happy.
Yesterday, I....
1. sent Mazreen to pasir ris.
2. went to 2 jemputans but only attended 1.
3. went over to Mazreen's house to sort-of surprise him, good gf that i am. hehehe. can tell he's happy, yeah yeah :)
4. got tapai from M's mom for my mom - which made my mom happy pulak coz she loves tapai.
5. loved the time spent with M :)
Today, I ....
1. have been with Mazreen for 9 years 3 months ;) yeah an anniversary.. hehehe.
2. will look fwd to Wednesday coz that's the earliest to hear his voice.
3. feel for lychee ice blend.
4. shall diet.
5. am missing Mazreen.
Tomorrow I will
1. look fwd to Wednesday again. hahah. and to Saturday to see him again.
2. still diet, hopefully.
3. try to wake up early.
4. go to the library to borrow good books.
5. still miss mazreen.
5/03/2004 12:15:00 pm | Permalink |